Subscribe to receive exclusive news, workouts, giveaways and more!

Ask the Pixies: Advice for Moms-to-Be and New Moms

Sisters Kelly and Katie McMenamin, founders of PixiesDidIt!, a personal organization business, are professional organizers, personality type experts and firm believers that, as their tag line puts it, life should be easy. Basing their philosophy on four personality types—Classic, Fun, Organic and Smart (take the Pixies personality quiz here to find out yours)—they dole out tips, tricks and advice dealing with home organization, relationships, cleaning, food, travel—and, just for us, pregnancy and new motherhood. This time, they take on exercise anxiety and friendship preservation.

Q: I’m an Organic Structure and pregnant with my first child. I'm a regular, avid exerciser and I know how good working out is for me and the baby. Trouble is, I can’t shake the feeling that it will affect the pregnancy in a negative way. How can I get over this?

A: Organic Structures make some of the world’s best worriers, as do Classics. You’re like black belts. The trick to getting over fears, real or irrational, regardless of the circumstance, is to use the tools that have helped you get over other worries before—and we don’t mean popping a Xanax. Say, for example, you’re afraid of flying, but are now able to board a plane because you pray before takeoff or talk yourself through the flight with rational thought. Apply those same remedies to your exercise anxiety and see if it can get you moving again. If not, remember there is one thing that is almost never going to harm a baby during a normal pregnancy: walking.

All our best, Katie and Kelly

Q: I recently had a baby and have been out of touch with some (OK, many) of my friends that don’t have kids. Some have given me guilt trips, while others have become less and less responsive. What can I do to preserve these friendships—or at least get them back on track?

A: Usually I’d say something glib like, “Hey, it takes two to tango—ahem, why have they been so out of touch with you, hmmm?” But since your friends don’t have kids they likely don’t know how time consuming a baby is. This means they might have assumed you’re just not pulling your weight in the friendship and, like it or not, functional friendships are two-way streets that need maintenance. Some personality types don’t need a ton of friendship maintenance (Funs, Organic Freedoms, Smart Freedoms) but others (Classics, Organic Structures, Smart Structures) do. Contact each friend—especially the guilt-trip ones (they need more maintenance)—and acknowledge that you haven’t been keeping up your side of the street since the baby was born; you value their friendship and really want to catch up or see them. Then make the effort. Those that don’t return this thoughtful gesture in kind are perhaps not the gold friends you thought they were and letting go of them will leave room to make some new silver ones. And in case you weren’t a Girl Scout and are wondering what my metallic references are all about, the song goes, “Make new friends / But keep the old / One is silver and the other gold.”

All our best, Katie and Kelly

Add your comments